Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize