My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
