and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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