I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Couch. On fire.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
