OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
