You're so nebulous sometimes
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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