I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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