please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
