The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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