im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize