yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
