My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We talked him into tasing himself.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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