oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
