hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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