We're facebook friends in real life
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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