Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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