It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
