the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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