We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
