let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
