Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
