they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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