As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
