How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize