im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
