im about as happy as oj after his trial
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
