to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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