pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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