We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
