so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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