On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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