I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
