So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
