I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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