I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
