I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
