Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
