Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
