Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
