I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I lost the right to judge tonight
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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