How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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