What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
