So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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