fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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