I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
