remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
