how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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