She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am spending my child support on dildos
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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