Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
