I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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