this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
