I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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