It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
