My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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