I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
