so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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