I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
