His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
